[NaLug] Cazzata [OT]

[Giorgio Agrelli]

Claudio Greco wrote:

> bhe, io conosco uno che per davvero ha chiamato il gatto grep...

per fare due risate (Get GUMMed è particolarmente gustosa) :

gio a Lisa:~$ fortune -m grep all
%% (fortunes)
Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
%%
better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus <north pole >town

cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus <north pole > town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
        be good
}
%%
                        Get GUMMed
                        --- ------
The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April
1, 2076 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above
the ground directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps.  Members will grep
each other by the hand (after intro), yacc a lot, smoke filtered
chroots in pipes, chown with forks, use the wc (unless uuclean), fseek
nice zombie processes, strip, and sleep, but not, we hope, od.  Three
days will be devoted to discussion of the ramifications of whodo.  Two
seconds have been allotted for a complete rundown of all the user-
friendly features of Unix.  Seminars include "Everything You Know is
Wrong", led by Tom Kempson, "Batman or Cat:man?" led by Richie Dennis
"cc C?  Si!  Si!" led by Kerwin Bernighan, and "Document Unix, Are You
Kidding?" led by Jan Yeats.  No Reader Service No. is necessary because
all GUGUs (Gurus of Unix Group of Users) already know everything we
could tell them.
                -- Dr. Dobb's Journal, June '84
%% (fortunes2)
        better !pout !cry
        better watchout
        lpr why
        santa claus < north pole > town

        cat /etc/passwd > list
        ncheck list
        ncheck list
        cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
        cat list | grep nice > giftlist
        santa claus < north pole > town

        who | grep sleeping
        who | grep awake
        who | grep bad || good
        for (goodness sake) {
                be good
        }
%%
A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and
B is for biff, which reads all your mail.
C is for cc, as hackers recall, while
D is for dd, the command that does all.
E is for emacs, which rebinds your keys, and
F is for fsck, which rebuilds your trees.
G is for grep, a clever detective, while
H is for halt, which may seem defective.
I is for indent, which rarely amuses, and
J is for join, which nobody uses.
K is for kill, which makes you the boss, while
L is for lex, which is missing from DOS.
M is for more, from which less was begot, and
N is for nice, which it really is not.
O is for od, which prints out things nice, while
P is for passwd, which reads in strings twice.
Q is for quota, a Berkeley-type fable, and
R is for ranlib, for sorting ar table.
S is for spell, which attempts to belittle, while
T is for true, which does very little.
U is for uniq, which is used after sort, and
V is for vi, which is hard to abort.
W is for whoami, which tells you your name, while
X is, well, X, of dubious fame.
Y is for yes, which makes an impression, and
Z is for zcat, which handles compression.
        -- THE ABC'S OF UNIX
%%
Bell Labs Unix - Reach out and grep someone.
%%
egrep -n '^[a-z].*\(' $ | sort -t':' +2.0
%%
Get GUMMed
----------

The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076
(check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground
directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps.  Members will grep each other by the
hand (after intro), yacc a lot, smoke filtered chroots in pipes, chown with
forks, use the wc (unless uuclean), fseek nice zombie processes, strip, and
sleep, but not, we hope, od.  Three days will be devoted to discussion of the
ramifications of whodo.  Two seconds have been allotted for a complete rundown
of all the user-friendly features of Unix.  Seminars include "Everything You
Know is Wrong", led by Tom Kempson, "Batman or Cat:man?" led by Richie Dennis
"cc C?  Si!  Si!" led by Kerwin Bernighan, and "Document Unix, Are You
Kidding?" led by Jan Yeats.  No Reader Service No. is necessary because all
GUGUs (Gurus of Unix Group of Users) already know everything we could tell
them.
                -- Dr. Dobb's Journal, June 1984
%%
grep me no patterns and I'll tell you no lines.


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