Surviving Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 14 Rules You Need to Know
Co-parenting with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissists have a way of making everything about them, and they often put their own needs ahead of their children’s. This kind of behavior can make co-parenting difficult, but there are ways to navigate the situation and minimize conflict. Here are 14 rules that can help you survive co-parenting with a narcissist:
1. Set boundaries.
Narcissists are known for pushing boundaries, so it’s essential to set them early on. This includes boundaries around communication, decision-making, and parenting responsibilities. Be clear about what is and isn’t acceptable behavior, and be prepared to enforce those boundaries if necessary.
2. Keep communication to a minimum.
If possible, try to limit communication with the narcissistic co-parent. Use email or text messaging to communicate important information, and try to keep it as brief and to the point as possible.
3. Don’t engage in arguments.
Narcissists thrive on conflict, so it’s important to avoid engaging in arguments with them. If they try to start an argument, stay calm and refuse to engage. Stick to the facts and focus on resolving the issue at hand.
4. Don’t take their behavior personally.
Narcissists often behave in ways that are hurtful and insensitive, but it’s important not to take their behavior personally. Remember that their behavior is a reflection of their own issues, not yours.
5. Keep records.
It’s important to keep a record of all interactions with your co-parent, especially if they are a narcissist. This includes emails, text messages, and any other communication. If necessary, these records can be used to support your case in court.
6. Don’t badmouth your co-parent.
Even if your co-parent is a narcissist, it’s important not to badmouth them to your children or others. This can create unnecessary conflict and damage your co-parenting relationship.
7. Be flexible when possible.
Narcissists can be rigid and inflexible, so it’s important to be flexible when possible. This can help to minimize conflict and make co-parenting easier.
8. Don’t try to change them.
It’s important to accept that you can’t change your co-parent’s behavior. Narcissists have deep-seated personality traits that are unlikely to change, no matter how much you try to reason with them.
9. Focus on your children’s needs.
When co-parenting with a narcissist, it’s important to focus on your children’s needs. This means putting their needs ahead of your own or your co-parent’s.
10. Seek support.
Co-parenting with a narcissist can be stressful and emotionally draining. It’s important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you cope with the situation.
11. Don’t give in to guilt trips.
Narcissists are notorious for using guilt trips to get what they want. It’s important not to give in to these tactics, as it will only reinforce their bad behavior.
12. Stick to the court order.
If you have a court order in place, it’s essential to stick to it. This can help to minimize conflict and ensure that your co-parenting relationship remains manageable.
13. Keep your expectations realistic.
When co-parenting with a narcissist, it’s important to keep your expectations realistic. Don’t expect them to change their behavior overnight, and be prepared for the fact that conflict may still occur.
14. Take care of yourself.
Finally, it’s important to take care of yourself when co-parenting with a narcissist. This means prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support when needed.
In conclusion, co-parenting with a narcissist can be a challenging experience. However, by following these 14 rules, you can minimize conflict, prioritize your children’s needs, and take care of yourself in the process. Remember to stay calm, set boundaries, and focus on what’s best for your family.
