The Dangerous Cycle of Contempt Breeds Familiarity
Have you ever heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt?” This commonly used phrase suggests that the more we get to know someone, the more likely we are to find flaws in their character, which leads to a decline in respect and esteem for them. However, there is another cycle at play, and it’s far more dangerous, called “contempt breeds familiarity”.
What is the Cycle of Contempt Breeds Familiarity?
The cycle of contempt breeds familiarity begins when we develop negative feelings or hostility towards someone. This could be because they hold opposing political views, have different religious beliefs or simply have different interests than us. Once we have established a negative perception of someone, we tend to focus on their negative actions, rather than their positive qualities. This, in turn, reinforces our negative perceptions of them, which leads to an increase in contempt.
The more contempt we feel towards someone, the more familiar we become with them. We continually look for reasons to validate our negative feelings and become hyper-aware of their actions, whether positive or negative. This familiarity, rooted in contempt, leads to a cycle of negative actions and reactions.
Examples of the Cycle of Contempt Breeds Familiarity
This cycle is evident on social media platforms where users frequently share their opinions on political or social issues. When online discussions start to become heated, individuals involved in the conversation start to use derogatory language or start to attack the character of the opposing viewpoint, generating more contempt towards the opposing party. The more contempt someone feels, the more they look for reasons to validate their negative feelings, leading to the cycle of contempt breeding familiarity.
The cycle is also visible in workplaces, where co-workers have different ideas, approaches or priorities. A conflict arises when an individual does not respect the views of their colleagues. Over time, this conflict can turn into a cycle of negative interactions where a team is on the brink of collapse.
The Impact of the Cycle on Relationships
The cycle of contempt breeds familiarity has a severe impact on relationships, both personal and professional. When we are continually looking out for reasons to validate our negative perceptions, we become blind to any positive attributes the other person brings to the table. Relationships tend to break down when all the focus is on the negative. Poor teamwork and lack of productivity are common outcomes of the cycle in the workplace.
Over time, this cycle builds a chasm between individuals, leading to a complete breakdown of communication and eventual hostility. In personal relationships, the person on the receiving end of the negative perceptions feels unsupported, unloved, and unappreciated. Eventually, this will lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
How to Break the Cycle of Contempt Breeds Familiarity
Breaking the cycle begins with acknowledging that it exists. Once you know it is at play, you can take some steps to break the cycle and build a healthier relationship. One way of breaking the cycle is to maintain a positive outlook and focusing on your interactions’ positives, rather than fixating on the negatives.
Actively seeking out positive qualities in the person helps in seeing them in a new light. This change of perspective can help decrease the familiarity that breeds from contempt and can lead to a more productive and positive relationship.
In conclusion, the cycle of contempt breeds familiarity is a dangerous cycle that leads to the breakdown of relationships, both personal and professional. Breaking the cycle begins with a change of perspective and focusing on the positives in relationships. Remember, familiarity does not always have to breed contempt.
