Why Familiarity Breeds Contempt: The Psychological Explanation
Familiarity is a powerful force – it creates a sense of security and comfort, and it’s no surprise that we tend to seek out familiar things and people. Relationships that are built on familiarity can foster feelings of safety and stability, but they can also lead to contempt. How does this happen, and why? In this article, we’ll explore the psychological explanation behind why familiarity breeds contempt.
The Familiarity Principle
The familiarity principle, also known as the mere-exposure effect, is a psychological phenomenon that states that people tend to like things or people more simply because they are familiar with them. Studies have shown that simply being exposed to something or someone, even if there is no direct interaction, can increase our liking for them.
However, there is a catch to the familiarity principle. It only works up to a point. After a certain amount of exposure, familiarity can turn into contempt.
Familiarity and Expectations
When we become familiar with something or someone, we begin to form expectations about them. We develop an idea of what to expect from them, and we become comfortable with that. However, if what we expect is not met, we can become disappointed and resentful.
For example, let’s say you have been in a long-term relationship with someone. You know them inside out, and you have a solid idea of what to expect from them. However, if they suddenly start behaving in a way that is unexpected or goes against your expectations, you might become resentful or critical of them.
Familiarity and Predictability
Another reason why familiarity can breed contempt is that it can make things predictable. When things become too predictable, we can become bored or frustrated. We might want something new, something different.
For example, let’s say you have been working at the same job for several years. Initially, everything felt exciting and new, but after some time, you’ve become familiar with the routine. You know what to expect, what your day will look like, and what tasks you’ll need to complete. If nothing changes in your work environment, you might start feeling bored or frustrated.
Familiarity and Neglect
Lastly, familiarity can breed contempt because it can lead to neglect. When we become familiar with something or someone, we can start taking them for granted. We might start ignoring them, neglecting them, or not putting in the effort to maintain the relationship.
For example, let’s say you have a friend that you’ve known for years. Initially, you were close, but over time, you’ve started taking your friend for granted. You no longer make an effort to spend time with them, and you no longer show them how much you appreciate them. If this goes on for too long, your friend might become resentful or distant.
Conclusion
Familiarity can be a positive force, creating a sense of comfort and security. However, it’s important to be aware of the potential pitfalls it can bring. When we become too familiar with something or someone, we can develop expectations, become bored, and neglect them. By staying mindful of how familiarity affects us, we can avoid the trap of contempt and maintain healthy relationships both personally and professionally.
